Ten years is an accurate time frame to predict your future, or to understand life in retrospect.
Either ways, you can be sure that nothing would be the way you’d assumed.
I can list a gazillion things that I didn’t see coming, change or fall apart 10 years ago. Probably only bits and pieces of my life are the way I wanted them to be, but I’m not the same person I was 10 years ago.
I came across this question a few weeks ago “Are you living a life, that the 13 year old You would approve of?”
I’m sure the answer to this would be a big fat NO in almost everyone’s case.
This question brings a lot of our priorities into perspective. Is the life that we are living now really meaningful? Are we making the right choices.? Are we cherishing the important moments and people in our life? Do we take a breather, for just a second, to appreciate what we have, RIGHT NOW, at this moment? Look around, let it sink in; because nothing-NOTHING will be the same in a month, a year, a decade.
This is as good as it gets!
I agree that the 13-yr old me probably didn’t have a clue about life (well, I wouldn’t completely agree on it, because my experiences have shaped me from a very young age! Thank you Life!)
Atleast, I get to blame all the crazy cuckoo things I do, on my experiences, and it has worked superbly well for me!
You should try it too 😀
Coming back to the topic, the 13-yr me old knew what the real pleasures in life were, she loved the little things that mattered, you see where this is going, don’t you?
The 13- year old me was way better than the current-me, she was happy, fun etc etc, but was she really?
Would you consider yourself to be naive than the 13- year old you? In some ways, yes!
Our priorities gets mixed up, and we lose track of what’s important, what matters and what gives us joy! We endlessly chase materialistic happiness, money, jobs, people, ending up feeling incomplete. Oh! The misery of an endless rat race!
But in ways, more than one, I like myself now than I did when I was 13. I’m not being an arrogant prude, but I didn’t know back then that big careers don’t bring happiness, or success doesn’t mean fat lumps of money, I didn’t know how painful a heartbreak can be, or that putting someone else’s happiness before yours does not make your life any better, I didn’t know that standing up for yourself or what you really believe in doesn’t make you a b**ch, I didn’t know that helping people can truly help me, but mostly, I didn’t know that my guts, instincts and all that mumbo-jumbo can be wrong!
Let me tell you a secret! When I meet someone(for the first time or the hundredth time) I tend to pick up on things- every expression, involuntary action, the slightest alterations in the tone of your voice, the way you talk to/about people(welcome to the unbelievably f*cked up world of overthinking! We INFJ’s do know how to read people!)
And almost every time I am right about a person. The margin of error is 1%, or more depending on how crazy I am about them.( pfff! I know how this sounds, but I belong to a species who is dead sure about our predictions, because we heavily rely on our gut feelings)
The point is, that the 13- year old me, would never accept that she could be wrong, and that people can change.
She would’ve never known that the ones she loathed, would become endearingly dear, or the ones she’d trusted with her life gave up on her.
Ten years is a long time for your world to come crashing down, for the seeds you planted on someone else’s grave to beautifully bloom, for your heart to break and to mend itself.
Ten years ago, I would’ve never believed that I’d be attending a dear, adorable friend’s wedding, whom I’d clearly considered as my nemesis!
Its funny how all the good traits of a person can appear ugly, if seen them under a bad light. When you loathe someone, you hate them for their negative aspects, but you also make the grave mistake of ignoring the positives ones. You never really get a chance to truly know them, to see what they can become, their interests, or what beautiful- crazy- whackadoodle- lovable things they are capable of!
We build stereotypes without ever
understanding what makes them the way they are.
Bottom line: You and I, can be wrong.
I happily admit that I was wrong, not once, but a dozen times, for believing that people can be just one thing- good or bad, interesting or boring, kind or ungrateful.
We are complex. Every one has a reason to be sweet/arrogant/kind/ass/ unreasonable/ ill tempered.
It isn’t your job to figure out the underlying reason, but it’s definitely your job as someone who’s not 13 anymore, to accept the fact that people fall on a wide spectrum.
Nobody is just a one thing, the layers are infinite. And what they choose to show you, is totally upto what you to choose to see in them!
People can surprise you, if you give them a chance!
Buss! I’m happy that you proved me wrong!
Happy married life, Love! 🙂